To those who have chosen to exit my life, I have no hard feelings. I hope someday you will reconsider and we can become part of each others lives again. However, I can no longer waste time worrying about what other people think. I’ve done that all my life and it has hindered me in many ways. I’ve chosen to accept the truth of who I am. This is the real me. Please don’t judge or hate me for that. If, and when, we do re-friend each other in real life, you’ll find that I’m the same person you knew before… whether it was as a family member, childhood friend, classmate, neighbor, coworker, etc.

By posting this letter here, I hope to help other transgender individuals with their own situations. The approach I took may not be suitable for everyone, but if a little bit helps, that’s great. Please note that I discussed my situation with close family members and friends in-person (or via phone) before going public.

Unfortunately, my decision to pursue inner peace and happiness also comes at a cost to others… in particular my wife and children. They realize this is something I must do to survive and I thank them for all their love and support. Whether I’m Dio, Devin, or whomever, I will always love them and be part of their lives.

An Open Letter To All My Friends…

This is one of the most difficult letters I’ve ever had to write. I’m not sure how to start, so I’ll follow my thoughts from recent discussions with my family and close friends. I wish I could speak with all of you in person, but it’s just not possible. For my Class of ‘84 classmates, our 25th reunion last November was just not the right time to bring this up. Sorry.

Since my earliest childhood memories I’ve struggled with something that has brought me much pain in my lifetime. I thought I could suppress my feelings, but unfortunately those feelings would always win. My reluctance to share these feelings with family and friends over time has lead to many health issues, emotional torment, and clinical depression for me.

Several years ago my bubble burst and I realized I couldn’t continue living miserably and faking it like I have all these years. I started seeing a therapist in NYC and came to the realization of what I’ve known for some time… that I’m transgender (and more specifically, transsexual). In other words, I don’t identify with the gender I was assigned at birth and I’m uncomfortable in my own body. My subconscious sex is not aligned with my physical sex.

I’ve thought about my gender dissonance pretty much every minute of the day throughout my life and it’s something that has been the root of immense emotional distress and distraction. I’ve been very depressed about these feelings throughout my life and several times have come close to suicide. However, recently I’ve come to accept my transsexuality and have decided to make things right. I have decided to transition to live and present as female full-time. Yes, this a complicated matter and it affects many people dear to me… my wife, children, family, friends, coworkers, etc. If I could have it any other way, I would, but this is something I NEED to do… to survive.

I’ve chosen to keep this message short and to the point. I’m always open to questions (see the FAQ below) and there are many resources on the Internet. I hope you will familiarize yourself with the transgender spectrum. More importantly, I’m hoping that all of you will choose to remain in my life as I embark on this journey. If some of you don’t, that’s okay. I understand and will miss you, but this is who I am and can no longer deny it.

I intend to permanently deactivate this Facebook account in the coming weeks. I welcome any friend requests at my new Facebook account. I hope to see you there.

D

=====

FAQ

Q: When did you realize you were transgender?

A: I felt different starting with my earliest childhood memories. I didn’t know what it was or how to express it… it confused me. For many years through adolescence and beyond I thought I was just a male heterosexual crossdresser (and in later years maybe bigendered). However, in recent years I realized this had nothing to do with clothing or femininity, but more so with the dissonance between my subconcious sex and physical sex. Simply put, I’m not happy with my body. This is something you’re born with, not a result of upbringing or environment.

Q: Does this mean you are gay?

A: Gender identity is very independent from sexual orientation. From a gender identity perspective I identify as female and from a sexual orientation perspective I consider myself pansexual (or bisexual for those who believe in the gender binary). FYI, transsexuals have the same sexual orientations as natural born males and females… straight, gay, bi, etc.

Q: Are you going to get surgery?

A: Transition from male to female can involve various types of surgery… facial feminization surgery, top surgery (breast implants), and bottom surgery. At this point I’m choosing to see how Mother Nature treats me (hormones; which I’ve been on for several months now). I’m not sure at this point if any surgery is in my future.

Q: What about your family?

A: My wife and I love each other very much and will always be in each others lives. We’re taking it day by day and very slowly with our children. My siblings, mother, relatives, and in-laws have all been very understanding and supportive. Many transgender individuals don’t have it as good. I feel blessed.

Q: Are you seeing a psychiatrist?

A: I continue to see a psychologist who specializes in gender issues. I also belong to a support group and have made many friends in the transgender community in the NYC metro area. My physician is also very familiar with transgender healthcare. I’m confident I’m in good hands.

Q: What about work?

A: As many of you know, I left corporate America over a year ago. I continue with my freelance photography and enjoy it very much. A benefit of my chosen field is that it is gender neutral. Time will tell if I need to reconsider. At this point I’m not thinking about going back to corporate America. Please note that many transgender men and women successfully transition in the corporate workplace. The support, education, and laws are in place to help and protect them. However, many transgender individuals in various states are still very vulnerable. Gender discrimination needs to end.

Q: “Devin”?

A: I currently have chosen to go by the name Devin. Many people in the transgender community already know me by that name. Plus, most of my paparazzo bylines in the press have been listed as “Devin”. I’m not certain if this will be my legal name. I may opt to keep my given name. You can also call me “D” or Dio, if you like. It’s all good.

Q: What’s next?

A: I’m taking it day by day. I know the journey ahead will be difficult. However, I feel very confident and content with my decision and the direction I’m heading… something I’ve never felt before in my life. The truth has set me free.

* Please be sure to read this Q & A by the American Psychological Association. It goes into more detail about Transgender Individuals and Gender Identity.

—

FEB 01, 2010 UPDATE: I am now considering returning to corporate America for employment.

Don’t Screw Us.org Manifesto

1. Photographs are Intellectual Property and therefore have value to the creator. If you are tempted to steal, that is because you recognize the value of the IP and are not respectful of the value of efforts of the creator. That’s not right.

2. Just because a photo is posted on the Internet, it is not free. It wasn’t put there so you can simply take it. It was put there to share an idea, promote talent and gain attention. You can’t walk into a museum space or a gallery space and walk out with whatever strikes your fancy. Cyberspace is no different.

3. There are laws in place that protect Intellectual Property and they come with penalties. These penalties are exponentially worse than paying to use the work and acknowledging the creator. Exponentially is a lot.

4. Professional photographers are just like you. We have families to feed and mortgages to pay. Stealing takes food off the table. Times are tough thank you very much.

5. If contacted directly, a professional photographer can be very accommodating, get involved and help you make your project better making you and your client look better. And who doesn’t want to look better?

6. Stealing. Not cool. How did you feel last time someone pirated one of your ideas or advertising concepts. Sucks huh?

7. That photo you are thinking of stealing took time to make. Sure the shutter snapped in a fraction of a second, but there are years of hard work, education and talent invested in it. Stop for a moment and consider that please.

8. Speaking of investments. That photo wasn’t taken with an iPhone or a disposable camera. Not that the iPhone isn’t great for snapping pics of your BFF. Professionals have significant investments in cameras, lights, computers and software. These things are costly to own, upgrade and maintain. Remember that next time you are looking at our work.

9. We are passionate about what we do and we hope you feel the same way about what you do. Passion brings respect. We respect that you are potential clients and future collaborators. We want to work with you. We hope you want to work with us too. By the way, if the project is Work for Hire please let us know upfront. We can’t respect you if you try to sneak one by us.

10. Some things were meant to be free. Human beings, primo parking spaces, unsolicited advice about your love life. And yes, even occasionally photos. Just ask.

The Divorce Agreement

American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists
and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950’s, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I
know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and
chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our
two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be
relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly
divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate
tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are
welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and
war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell (You are,
however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to
move all three of them).

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved
homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot
Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles
and give you NBC and Hollywood

You can make nice with North Korea, Iran and Palestine and we’ll
retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.. You
can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way
of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N..
but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing
doctors. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
right. We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National
Anthem. I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to
Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up
poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our
history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like
minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just
hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you Answer
which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheehan, Barbara
Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And we won’t have to press 1 for English.

One day a year, for the past 31 years, nine of the country’s finest museums, all ones that call Fifth Avenue home, collectively open their doors from 6pm – 9pm for free to New Yorkers and visitors for a mile-long block party and visual art celebration. This traffic-free, music- and art-filled celebration fills the street and sidewalks of Fifth Avenue from 82nd to 105th street, the mile now officially designated as Museum Mile. Over 50,000 visitors attend the festival annually.

www.museummilefestival.org

In 1964, thousands of Jews gathered to walk down Riverside Drive together in a show of support for the young State of Israel. Since then, the Salute to Israel Parade has continued its tradition as the world’s largest gathering in support and celebration of Israel and its people. A major vehicle for Zionist expression, the Parade enables communities to come together in a non-partisan, apolitical show of unity and solidarity with brothers and sisters in Israel.

www.salutetoisrael.com

Japan Day @ Central Park is an event designed by the Japanese community of New York to promote deeper understanding of Japanese culture and, to say “Thank you, New York!” Now marking its third year as a New York City tradition, Japan Day @ Central Park returns to fill the green oasis of East Meadow with tents offering a wide range of Japanese traditional and family-friendly activities, free samplings of popular Japanese cuisine and powerful stage performances throughout the day, with top entertainers from New York and Tokyo. Last year, an estimated 40,000 New Yorkers participated in Japan Day in the East Meadow. More info here.

On May 26, 2009 demonstrators in New York City marched on the city and held a rally in Union Square Park to protest a California Supreme Court ruling that upheld Proposition 8, banning any future marriages for same sex couples in California.

NYPD Blue

So many helicopters hovering above NYC these days. This one was pretty cool (and flying low).

Shot with a Nikon D3 and Nikkor f/2.8 70-200mm. Post-processed in Adobe Lightroom 2.3.

Freestyle

Union Square Park in New York City after the MTA Fair Hike Rally. They’ve come a long way since the days when I used to skate.

Shot with a Panasonic Lumix DMC-LX3 (wish I had my D3 instead) and post-processed in Adobe Lightroom 2.3.

Ragweed Pollen

Photo Credit: CDC / Janice Haney Carr

All You Need Is

Midtown Manhattan on another beautiful spring day.

Shot with a Nikon D3 and Nikkor f/2.8 24-70mm.

Run

One of my favorite shots (out of >4K pics) from the More|Fitness Magazine Half-Marathon in Central Park today. I love her running form, the lighting, colors, etc. FYI, I intentionally blurred the runner’s number for privacy reasons.

Shot with a Nikon D3 and Nikkor f/2.8 70-200mm. Exposure 1/500 sec, f/9.0, and a 1/4 power pop from my Nikon SB-800 for some fill.

Volunteers

Firemen on the roof of a residential/commercial building in Park Ridge, NJ work to put out a fire.

Shot with a Nikon D3 and a Nikkor f/2.8 70-200mm. Post-processed in Adobe Lightroom 2.3.

Pizza!

Our weekly favorite: Phil’s Pizzeria and Restaurant in Montvale, NJ.

Shot with a Nikon D3 and Nikkor f/2.8 14-24mm.

Wubbzy Jumping

Just the daily “take-apart-the-living-room-and-jump-over-things”. Today Aidan decided to catch some air over Wubbzy.

Shot with a Nikon D3 and Nikkor f/2.8 14-24mm. Post-processed in Adobe Lightroom 2.3.

Happy Earth Day!

Aidan was so proud to plant a tree today at school. He’s equally excited about this tulip in our front yard. Happy Earth Day!

Shot with a 1G iPhone and post-processed in Adobe Lightroom 2.3 and Photoshop CS3.